


couldn't leave you behind

by witchee_writer



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Because Steve Rogers would not abandon Bucky Barnes, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Endgame, that's just stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27737026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchee_writer/pseuds/witchee_writer
Summary: It didn't matter how many times he blinked, Steve Rogers still stood across from him, almost the same as when Bucky had last saw him.OR, Steve doesn't stay in the past, he comes back, just a little later then he had intended.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	couldn't leave you behind

**Author's Note:**

> This one is my favourite Stucky fic yet (that I've written). I also had to try and get out some of my Endgame anger because that hit me hard and I think my friends are sick of me whinging about it. I'm having a MCU rewatch and I haven't even gotten up to Endgame yet. When I do, they'll be hearing about it again. For now, have this fix-it offering.

Bucky blinked, once, twice. It was a miserable day outside, the rain pouring down. Maybe he had water in his eyes, maybe he was dreaming, it wouldn't have been the first time. The figure across from him didn't move, his blonde hair sticking to his face, his blue eyes bright with relief and hope and too many things that Bucky didn't want to name. 

It didn't matter how many times he blinked, Steve Rogers still stood across from him, almost the same as when Bucky had last saw him. It wasn't possible, it shouldn't have been possible. Steve was gone, Steve had left him. It was meant to be a quick jump to the past and back, but Steve had never returned and Bucky knew that he had made his decision. 

It didn't surprise him, it had hurt though. It had hurt far more then he had expected it too, but it had been a year and Bucky had tried to move on. It was done, Steve hadn't said goodbye, that was just it. If he was happy back then, that was all that mattered. Bucky would be fine, he would. 

He had been telling himself that every day. 

"You cut your hair," said Steve, hoarsely. He looked nervous now, some of the relief giving way to guilt. Bucky couldn't even stand to look at it. He was meant to have made his decision, he was the one that had left (that had left him). "Buck-" 

He turned and walked the other way before Steve could finish his sentence. 

Bucky hated how the only thing his traitorous heart wanted to do was reach out to Steve and hug him, tightly. The more his brain had healed, the more his feelings for Steve that Bucky thought were long buried, had revealed themselves. Even during the war he had almost convinced himself to forget. But everything happened too quickly here, he didn't have time to bury them again before Steve was gone and he was alone. And it hurt, it had been like a bullet to the chest but Steve was back and all he wanted to do was reach out- it wasn't fair, he had left, left him after everything. 

He had chosen Peggy over him (even if he always knew he would). 

It had hurt, and he was angry, and Steve thought that running into him in the street was the best way to announce he had come back? The rain might have driven most inside, but it was still neither the time nor place. Maybe if they were at the Avengers facility, maybe if they were someplace more secure. But Bucky had been the one to decide to live in Brooklyn, to get away from it all, at least for a little while. He still went on missions, usually with Sam. It was a good distraction, Bucky needed it. 

He loved Brooklyn, it was home, but it still felt empty knowing that Steve had left him behind. 

He still lived there anyway. 

Steve fell into step alongside him, Bucky knew that he would. He was a stubborn punk, had been since they were kids. Bucky didn't need to look to know that Steve glanced at him every chance he got, that he was just waiting for the right moment. "Bucky-"

This was not the right moment. Bucky ignored the brokenness in his voice and clenched his jaw, picking up the pace. He could practically hear Steve slump, his face fall. It wasn't enough to make him stop. He had done a good job pushing down his feelings in the past year, pretending he was happy for Steve, but now he was here, well, that was different. 

Steve didn't fall into step alongside him this time, but Bucky knew he was still there, still following him. He didn't dare look back, he knew he would cave if he did. He was practically dripping water when they finally got inside, when they reached the apartment that Pepper Potts had kindly purchased for him. He hadn't exactly earned much as the Winter Soldier. 

The door slammed open, bouncing off the wall. There would probably be a dent, but Bucky didn't care. He strolled in, aware that Steve had closed the door quietly behind him. Bucky reached for a bottle of vodka and poured himself a large shot. It wouldn't make him drunk, it wouldn't numb anything but at least he would still feel the burn. Steve practically winced as he threw the liquid back and poured himself another. 

"You're angry," said Steve, quietly. Bucky looked at him, his gaze dark and Steve managed a small, strained smile. "I missed you, if it makes any difference. You- you look good too, better-" 

Bucky placed the shot glass down a little harder then he intended, and Steve fell silent. He looked remarkably small for someone his size, Bucky wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. "Surprised to see you at all, Stevie, assumed you weren't coming back." His voice was cold and Steve flinched. He decided that hurting him, just that little bit, made him feel better. Bucky had been hurting for a year, it was only fair that Steve should feel some too. "The others know you're here?" 

Steve nodded, slowly. "The sensors picked up my return, Hill had a team waiting. They filled me in on what's been happening and Bruce told me you were living in Brooklyn."

Bucky didn't answer, didn't know how he was supposed to answer. 

It made more sense that Steve would go back for Peggy. What was Bucky? A sidekick, a childhood friend, a brother in arms. Why wouldn't Steve stay in the past for the love of his life? Bucky was a liability, had been tortured and broken for decades, was nowhere near the man he had been before he had marched off to fight the Germans. It had hurt, of course it had, but it made sense. 

This- Steve being back, standing in his apartment looking sad and lost- this didn't make sense. Maybe Bucky had relapsed, maybe he had lost it again and was seeing things. Even that seemed more likely then Steve being back. 

Bucky threw back another shot, relishing the burn. "What are you doing here?"

Steve frowned, shifting closer. "Where else would I be? Where else would I go? I- I know I have made many friends in this time, but I only really have you, Buck. It's you and me, bud, you- you remember that, don't you?" 

He rolled his eyes, "I remember everything, Steve." 

Steve, much younger, much smaller, getting himself into fights he couldn't win, smiling up at Bucky through a bloodied nose. Bucky scolding him through it all, looking after him when he was sick, sneaking extra food onto his plate when he wasn't looking. Bucky remembered seeing his face for the first time through his pain in Zola's lab, the same, but so very different. Steve helping him up, the muscles practically bulging through his clothes, taller then even Bucky. He couldn't stop himself from staring, he stopped trying, eventually. He remembered jealousy when Steve looked at Peggy, he remembered forcing himself not to think about that. Bucky remembered cold nights out in the field, he and Steve under the same blanket, huddling together for the warmth. It had felt like home, no matter how different Steve's body had become. 

And then pain, so much pain, always pain. HYDRA didn't want him to remember and for a long time he didn't. He did now though, he remembered it all. 

Steve lurched forward, grabbing his arms, one real, one metal. "You really think I would abandon you, then?" He shook his head, eyes pained. "After everything we've been through? If I had known that HYDRA had you earlier I would have-"

"I know, Steve," said Bucky, tiredly. He tilted his head to the side, "It's been a year, what else was I supposed to think? You considered it, didn't you? That was your plan, to stay in the past, to have the life you deserved. To marry Peggy, to have a family together, to be happy, that's why you didn't come back, right?" 

Steve's hands slipped away, and Bucky didn't do anything to stop them. "I thought that was what I wanted," said Steve, quietly. "I found her in the dance hall, waiting for me. She was beautiful, she always was. We danced, I was supposed to be happy, but all I could think about was everyone I had left behind. Maybe I should have gotten a chance at that life but I didn't, I accepted that a long time ago. I'd let go of Peggy a long time ago and I think- I think it was just the idea that had always appealed to me so much. Whose to say we would have worked out?" Steve shook his head. "I don't- I don't think we would have and even if I had stayed, even if I had saved you earlier and changed things, you still would have been here. My Bucky would still be in some alternate timeline, and I'd have left him behind." 

_'My Bucky',_ those words alone sent a shiver through him. "Steve-"

"I told Peggy enough that they'll find you and me both in that timeline, that she'll destroy HYDRA before they can infiltrate SHIELD and things will be different," said Steve, pleased despite the implications of what he had done. Bucky didn't bother scolding him for it, he knew that no matter what, Steve wouldn't regret it. "And then I came back, for you." 

"For me?" said Bucky, "We're not two kids in Brooklyn anymore, Stevie. I'll always watch your back, but if Peggy could have made you happy-" 

Steve shoved him, hard. "Didn't you hear me, Buck? I didn't want to be with Peggy, I wanted to be here, with you." He shifted, nervously. "If- if you want, of course." 

"You don't know what you're saying," said Bucky, his voice thick. He had a strong urge to take a swig of vodka, straight from the bottle, maybe that would loosen his tongue. "I- I think I- even back then-" The confession wouldn't seem to come out and he clenched his fists. He was weak, just as weak as he used to be. 

Steve placed his hands on his arms, again, his blue eyes wider then usual. His grip firm, grounding him. "I _know_ , Buck," he whispered. 

Bucky shook his head, "You don't-" 

"I do, of course I do." Steve leaned in, rested his forehead against his. Bucky held his breath, as Steve continued. "I had moments, definitely when we were younger I felt-" He took a breath. "I didn't think you could ever feel the same way but even if you didn't, I had to come back. I knew when I saw Peggy, I saw it clearer then I ever had, how I felt. She is wonderful and brave and beautiful, but she was never you, Buck." 

"But-"

"I tried to focus on her whenever we went out, because I knew you would find some dame, maybe two, and disappear. You always did, you were damn good at that."

"Still am," Bucky muttered. 

Steve chuckled, "I didn't think 'us' was a possibility, I never did. I felt it for so long it was easy to ignore. But it is, isn't it? It's not- it's not just me. "

"No," he breathed. "It's not just you." 

"Why didn't I see it before?" Steve choked out. 

"When could you have? Fuck, Steve, we've been all over the place for years. We were too oblivious and scared when we were younger, convincing ourselves we were just friends and then the war came. When could you have seen it? When could I have? When you had taken the serum and everything was different and your senses were probably all over the place? Or after you'd rescused me and I was the one that was all over the place? Or when HYDRA had brainwashed me to forget who I was? When I tried to kill you? When Thanos came? We're idiots, sure. But it's not entirely our fault." 

"Still should have seen it sooner," muttered Steve. "Or- or maybe I should have said something sooner." 

"We're both guilty of that." Bucky moved his hands so that he could grip Steve's arms. "There were plenty of times I thought I should, but I was never brave enough. How did you- why were you so certain?" 

Steve shrugged, "I don't know, I don't know if it was being in the past, if it put things into perspective, or if it's just been so long since I've seen you be you that it was obvious. I could have been wrong, but I'm glad I wasn't." 

Bucky could feel his breath on his face, he closed his eyes. "I'm glad you came back," he said, softly. 

"I'm sorry for being gone so long," returned Steve. "It wasn't the intention, I think I messed up the calculations for the trip back, it's only been a few weeks for me." 

"Doesn't matter, not now." 

Soft lips brushed against his, briefly. It took everything in his power not to grab the back of Steve's neck and pull him closer, to meld their lips together. There would be time for that later. 

"I love you," said Steve, quietly. 

Bucky's eyes opened, he saw Steve's baby blues shining with happiness. It had been a long time since he had seen him look that happy, a _very long time_. "I love you too," he said, easily. And it was easy, as if he had been waiting his entire life to say it. Bucky felt lighter, content. Steve beamed, and Bucky rolled his eyes. "Don't look so pleased with yourself, I'm still angry. You jumped out on me for a year, Rogers." 

"Don't worry, Barnes," said Steve, a smirk tugging at his lips. "I'll make it up to you." 

"Oh yeah?" 

Steve ducked town and pressed their lips together, firm and insistent. Bucky's fingers wrapped themselves in Steve's shirt on instinct, relishing the warm mouth moving against his. Steve practically whined when he pulled away. 

"I suppose we can come to some kind of agreement," said Bucky, grinning. Steve just pulled his mouth back to his with one firm pull and Bucky chuckled. "Always knew you'd be needy, Stevie."

Bucky was vaguely aware of his phone ringing, but without separating from Steve he pulled it from his pocket and threw it across the room. It shattered on impact, falling silent. He felt Steve smile against him, and Bucky guided them to the bedroom. 

He wouldn't be answering any phones, not for the next few days. He and Steve had some lost time to catch up on, and if anybody didn't like that, well let them come and try interfere. Between the two of them, they would likely make short work of it. 

"No leaving this time," Bucky muttered, as Steve fell back on the bed, pulling Bucky down with him. 

Steve shook his head, "No leaving," he agreed. "It's you and me Buck-"

"To the end of the line?" 

"To the end of the line." 

"You need to come up with new lines, Captain," said Bucky amused.

Steve raised an eyebrow, "Well it worked, didn't it?" He tugged impatiently at Bucky's shirt, throwing it across the room when he finally managed to pull it off. "Now shut up and kiss me." 

" _With pleasure,_ sweetheart."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You guys are the best! Xx


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